Montages Should Come With A Warning



I am frustrated at my life. I shouldn’t be, it’s not that bad. But I am. And I blame American TV. I want what they show. Always have. Those wonderful moments when everybody dances to a folky, country-esque hopeful happy song that in reality a group of people would never dance to because people never dance to anything but loud aggressively happy plastic music designed for optimum modern-day-mating-ritual-esque pulling moments. But on TV, in America, apparently, a group of friends will gather after a momentous occasion in their collective life and dance, cutting to them all hugging and walking into a sunset. I wanted those moments. Or the ones when everybody is sitting together in a perfectly photographical formation while they all appreciate each other, again with a pretty folky song, getting louder and louder. Or a montage. Montages cut out all the rubbish we actually have to deal with and paste together the happiest or saddest most meaningful moments and make us feel frustrated at the mundane nature of our own lives. Again to music. Montages, they are the real culprit. They should come with a warning. ‘Disclaimer: this montage will make you feel frustrated at you own life. It will make you feel your life is in no way as good as these fictional characters’. I’d like to see a montage that reflects reality. Somebody taking out their rubbish, somebody watching TV. Playing endless games of Words with Friends. Blowing their nose. Change their sheets. Reality. Better yet, I want to see my reality. Show somebody living on a sofa, sending off endless job applications. Getting rejected. A lot. Or not hearing back at all (always fun, to keep me guessing, ta for that). Show somebody going mad. Show somebody going to the laundrette. Or ridiculously hungover on a camp bed in their friend’s sitting room because house hunting is Hell. Somebody unable to build their bed, getting a friend to do it. Working the checkout. Being a dick to their friends. Somebody sending a text. Somebody else ignoring said text. Somebody panicking. Somebody sad. Getting fired. Or getting told off at work. Watching TV. All accompanied by the same songs used in these meaningful TV montages. Because it does get a bit annoying to feel frustrated at your own life, the real world, everytime you hear one of these songs. But then again, nobody would watch these montages of reality. It doesn’t give us anything to aim for. Any if we don’t have anything to aim for life becomes even more mundane than it already is. So I suppose these false moments do serve a purpose, albeit a frustrating one.

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